Girl Talk | How To Do It All {But Not Really!} | Finding Balance in Life & Business

Written by: Sol

Hey, Fabbies!

So listen…If you know me personally, you know I always have A LOT going on in my life! Besides byKikiSol, I also have my own style blog {Though I haven’t posted in a while, but I’m working on that!}, a coaching business, work TWO jobs and am happily married! Yeah, I know…I stay doing the most. Blame it on the parentals – they’re work horses, too!

mary j

 

In my mind, I am no different than any other working woman or entrepreneur.  To me, it’s just doing what I have to do to get what I need to get done. However, there are so many women who have similar loads like mine and aren’t sure how to conquer everything.  Guess what, girl? You can’t.

In my journey, there are four key elements I adopted to help me to learn how to prioritize my life and essentially, work smart and not hard.  They are:

  1. Understand That You Can’t Do It All

I think this was one of the hardest, yet most important lessons I had to learn.  For some reason, I had this self-appointed responsibility to be and do everything for everybody.  The only place that got me was overwhelmed and underserved, simply because the people I found myself bending over backwards for, weren’t doing the same for me.  I eventually had to take a look at the big picture and understand that this was a part of an insecurity I had, causing me to become a ‘people pleaser.’  Once I understood that the only person I was obligated to pleasing was ME, my outlook changed. I began to put my needs FIRST and go after what made me happy, no matter how others felt about it.  Some people may call that selfishness – I call it sanity.

      2.  ‘NO’ Is Your Friend

This actually coincides with my first point.  It took me a while to understand that the word ‘No’ is a lifesaver.  Like, for real. When I am drowning in the sea of special projects, household obligations and business ventures and someone approaches me with an ‘opportunity’ if I can’t do it, I kindly decline.  Even down to my family, if something is happening, of course I will make as much effort as I can to participate, but in the end if I can’t, I can’t! I used to feel guilty about saying no, but now I throw that thing around like Oprah…

 

oprah

 

      3. I Got Married – To My Schedule!

The one thing I love, more than my wife, is my to-do list! I am a list-er by nature, so I have always worked better with visually seeing what tasks lie ahead of me.  Fast forward to 2012, I took this love to the next level… I started adding these lists to the calendar in my cell phone. This was great for me because I was able to look at the calendar and receive alerts when tasks were due.  Fast forward again to 2015 for the next level in this love affair – a to-do list APP! My preferred app is Any.Do, and let me tell you – that thing is a GODSEND! I speak of this app in detail here, so I won’t bore you with the deets now, but just know – the moment I started taking time to actually schedule everything and everyone, including myself, on my calendar my life changed! I have standing appointments for my wife, mom, nail appointments, task deadlines and other projects all at the palm of my hand! If you ain’t on, you better get on!

     

      4. Power {Me} Down

This is actually something that I just recently started doing, like over the past few weeks or so.  For the first and last 30 minutes to an hour of my day, I do not look on social media.  Doing this in the morning helps me to stay on task with getting ready for the day and allows me to be focused on what needs to be done; doing this at night helps my brain to slow down and relax from the day. This has worked miracles for me! I believe a lot of the reason why I took on so many tasks at one point is because I was overloading on social media, seeing how other bloggers, stylists and enrepreneurs ran their pages/lives, so I would try to create a social life to match! Now that I take that time to unwind, it allows me to go before and end the day with a clearer head and a little less stress.  Let’s be real – the social world can be a bit much sometimes, so it’s totes okay to guard your mind from the foolishness of Facebook, for the sake of a happy and productive day!

baby

 

So, there you have it – the four elements I use to find the balance in my life and business.  As women, we wear so many hats and mean so much to so many people that often times we neglect ourselves.  Figure out how to find time for you. Doing this isn’t selfish – It’s necessary.

Until next time, live F.A.B with no regrets!

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