Girl Talk | Redefining Your DIVA Voice

Written by: Kiki

Aloha Fabbies,

Listen…. once upon a time not long ago, I was a DIVA!


Now, we all know about the negative association with being called a  “DIVA”, right? Well, for those who don’t, let me break it down real quick.  Historically, in the behavior sense, a diva has been referred to as a woman who is temperamental or haughty, basically a real b*tch. If someone was referred to as being a “diva”, then it was an insult and that person should be shamed for behaving in such a manner!  My DIVA truth is found somewhere in the middle… lets chat about it!!!


A DIVA is a female version of a hustler. A DIVA is a person who tries to achieve what they want and does not let people get in their way.  A DIVA is a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly, or no way at all. A DIVA is someone who exudes great style and personality with confidence and expresses their own style by not letting others influence who they are or want to be! So with all that being said:



Shocked? Appalled? Agree? Whatever the case, it is what it is… I’m a diva and I am proud! Now before you start judging (Oh I see you shady boots! Hold the read for one sec and let me explain!), my diva-ish behavior is totally valid… You see,

 I’m a woman

It may sound simple in the words but if you take a second and let the meaning of each word sink in you will understand why my diva behavior is not only valid, but also a way I have found to express my acceptance of my #magic, no matter how much society tries to deny it.  I mean, let’s be honest – society is not the biggest cheerleader for those against the grain and those who don’t fit the perfect “norm” facade that it tries to feed us via the media, daily telling us ……..


Now imagine if you not only had one taboo quality, but FOUR! It can be a bit much and sometimes feel unbearable.  Constantly hearing and being fed the message you aren’t good enough because you are “strange”; Simply because you like Fleetwood Mac and drag queens as a southern black girl who weighed over 250 pounds in the 9th grade who occasionally kisses girls…. Yea, all of that….*sigh*

Something had to give… I mean, come on I get it, I’m different {and society still has a looooooong way to go to recognize ALL of this fabulousness}, so I had to start cheering for myself and in that, I found my “diva” voice.  Now this was no easy task.  During this process, I found a few key pointers on how to find my diva voice without being arrogant and bitchy {Because she MUST be tamed!}… And hopefully, these tips can help you find your own “Diva” voice:

1. Focus on a good quality or talent you have:  

Instead of always focusing on what’s wrong with you, take the time and find out what you excel at or your favorite part of you! For example, if you feel you have flabby arms, but great teeth… then rock the hell out your teeth boo! SMILE!

2. Don’t be a bag lady, leave the bags at the curb:

Let go of the past hurts, girl! So what you didn’t get asked to prom or get that job?!  Do not hold on to the hurt of disappointment and failure.   That only leaves you angry and bitter, causing you to take it out on others and build a wall of hurt around you… and that’s just not cute!

3. Stay Humble and Fab

The complete juggling act. Be humble in your talents and uniqueness. Acknowledge and praise them, but don’t gloat. Don’t put others down because they are different or don’t have what you do. Also, be thankful and fab in who you are and what you do! Oh, and don’t EVER dim your light to please someone else!

Being a DIVA is not the same negative undertone as before. In reality, finding your DIVA voice and using it can be a lifesaver. So the next time someone asks you “Why do you love yourself so much?” You just flip your hair back and say……


“‘Cause I’ve been the number one diva in this game for a minute!!”

Until next time, live F.A.B with no regrets!

bks blog signature

What puts you into a DIVA type of mood? is it an outfit, song, accomplishment,etc?

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