LifeStyle|I Kissed a girl…. and I liked it…now WHAT!?

Written by: Kiki

Since we are rocking in February and it is officially the “Love Month,” I must confess, I kissed a girl…. and I liked it… liked it so much that four years later, a lease, a dog, new furniture, a Hawaiian vacation, business launch, quitting a job, depression, sick parents and law school later…. I’m still kissing her…. 


Yes, my dears.. Kiki is a card carrying member of the LGBTQIA tribe( located somewhere between the L and the B) and has been for almost her entire life….. more or less. And in the past four years I have been in a committed relationship with a woman named Latoya aka Poobie Poo aka D.A Tyson aka Bae.  Now the first question a straight friend would ask once hearing this is, ” What is it like being with a woman?”


and after the obscenities stop I would respond, ” Flourishing AF.” Now this is not my first relationship with a person of the same sex and I have dated  men as well but to be honest, I didn’t take those relationships as serious and for the most part my commitment was non-existent. And the flourishing comes more from where I am in life and what she brings into it and less with her gender, so I suppose it is possible for heterosexual women to flourish with their male partners as well and the knowledge I am about to drop is transferable… haha . I have learned,  all in all,  this is truly my first grown up relationship and Lord, didn’t he save the most eventful, life changing  one for last.


In the four years that Bae and I have been courtin and shackin up, I have undergone some serious soul searching and developing and have come to the conclusion that all “ships” have a purpose and the golden ones teach you life lessons. Winner, winner baby! Grab your pens and paper and get ready for these gems I am about to share on how my relationship has been “Flourishing AF”…………………………………………………..

  • Flourish with yourself: I know we really keep drilling in this concept of “loving yourself first” and all that jazz but it’s really true…… It all starts with you. Give yourself the attention and care you need to understand your value and you will demand the same from others.   In the words of muva Rupaul, ” How in the hell can you love somebody else if you can’t love yourself?” …. YOU CAN’T! but it’s never too late to learn… Don’t know how to start, then check Sol’s tips here on how to self love on you.dsc_0210
  • Flourish your relationship with God: So I am sure this is going to sound a bit off but my lesbian girlfriend helped me build my relationship with God…. Whew, I know the mothers of the church will have a field day with that one but it’s true.  Bae is Methodist from a little town in NC, where I am a world traveling military brat who has studied everything from Jehovah witness to Wiccan….needless to say, my spirituality could use some fine tuning.(  are you judging??)   Bae has shown me that it is vital to build your personal relationship with God and have him as the center in all things I do. From attending church regularly and speaking to the Lord on a daily basis, this has really helped us grow and define what God means to us as partnership..
  • relationship
  • Flourish with Support: Look, we both walked into this ship with dreams; mines to be an international clothing designer & producer and her’s to be a world changing, civil rights defending attorney.  To obtain these dreams it means there are going to be many late nights and missed events. There are also going to be some tightening of the wallets and making things manage with less while living in a one income household or extra funds are being put into a business.  And let’s not even talk about about prep talks when the other is feeling frustrated and defeated. Flourishing the other with support is what helps this dream chasing obtainable.
  • Flourish with adventures: Look, couples that explore together, make amazing memories and broadens their horizons together! So get that passport and book some flights and see the world! The experience will bring you both closer together and also see how well you work under different conditions.. You meet a whole other person with “Traveling Bae.” Sometimes uninhibited and free and sometimes cranky and extra… So far, bae and I have gone to Hawaii and Las Vegas together. Law school has put a damper on our traveling episodes but we are headed to Miami next month and plan to hit up New Orleans and a cruise by the end of the year….. traveling ban or naw,  not even 45 can hold us from seeing the world!

I could go on and on about how to get your relationship on “Flourishing AF” status but to be honest it would be too long and I am still learning… Now though we are 4 years in this thang called love, that’s just the beginning of a lifetime.  I plan on marrying this woman and that will bring on new lessons and more challenges and let’s not add in the factor of going whole on a kid( do the math later… don’t confuse yourself)…


Whether you kissed a girl and you liked it or prefer kissing on a fellow… love is love and we all face the same difficulties regardless of gender, race, or sexuality……just trying to find someone who loves you as much as Kanye loves Kanye……


Until the next time, live F.A.B with no regrets!


What are some love lessons you have learned in your current relationship or in general ?

18 thoughts on “LifeStyle|I Kissed a girl…. and I liked it…now WHAT!?

  1. Aww ..I wanna shed a thug tear after reading this. I am a big fan of love..the functional kind. You rep your tribe, which is ultimately the LOVE tribe well. I am a proud member of the Love Tribe too .Some Love lessons learned..hmm..its not just a feeling, it’s a verb. It requires less saying and more doing but not in a chore kind of way. When its right, it doesn’t feel like wotk at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is SO true, Leslie! I think some people nowadays have the idea of love misconstrued because of all of the conditional love we see on tv and in media. But if you truly love someone and give your love from a genuine place, it no longer hinges on what you say, but what you do. All hail the Love Tribe!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really appreciate how candid this post is. I have a ton of LGBTQ friends and I know they absolutely hate the question, “What’s it like being a ______?” Really? It’s the same feeling you have being with your partner of the opposite sex. I’m so happy you’re in a relationship that is filled with love!


    1. Inquiring mines always want to know…. hunni it’s the same as dating a man or someone of a different race… yes you have some situations that are unique to your dynamics but overall you all are trying to achieve the same…. me too!! It’s pretty amazing!


    1. Absolutely! That is great advice!

      So many times, please enter the relationship with their “representative”, never actually sharing their true self from the start. Then when ish hits the fan and their true color shows, it causes problems because your mate is thrown off and thinks that you’ve “changed”. When in all actuality, that was who you were the entire time.


      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing your love lessons for flourishing! Main lessons I have learned are: Always be kind to each other. And communication is KEY!!


    1. Communication is key! I never realized how I needed to improve my communication skills until the demand was there to have effective communication skills… definitely something to continuously work on…


  4. Aww I loved this post!! It’s cliche to say, but I love LOVE. The tips you gave on how your relationship is flourishing af are spot on.


  5. I just loved this and truly appreciated your honesty. As I told you when I saw you recently, you have truly broadened my horizons and knowledge of what love is and what it means. Love is love and I am happy when people truly get to experience it no matter who they are with. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in a relationship is accepting someone for who they are and not trying to change them. One thing I love about my husband is that he truly let’s me be myself and doesn’t care about what I wear, how I wear my hair or any of that. It’s a blessing to be with someone who just let’s you BE.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this post!! Such a great description of love and partnership and you all look like you are having such a great time in all your photos! ❤ You're totally right that you have to "flourish with support" – communication, kindness, and support make for the best sort of relationship!


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