Girl Talk | Heart & Sol

Written by: Sol

Many, many moons ago, I participated in a writing challenge {that I never finished, go figure!} because I had gotten bored with my personal blog and needed a little motivation.

In a senseless bout with boredom, I went back through and reread that post and came back to an interesting topic in the challenge titled, ‘List 10 5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.’  Now, clearly, I am FAAAAR from 16 years of age, and logically I have learned WAAAAY more than 5 lessons since then, however, if ever given the opportunity to have a moment with my young self and only share five gems of wisdom {in no particular order or fashion} the conversation would go something like this:

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Hey there, Lonely Girl…

The conversation that you and I are about to have is long overdue.  The things I will share with you should have been discussed ages ago, but for reasons of fear, doubt, and discomfort, they weren’t.  For so long, I felt I was putting this off because you weren’t ready to face realities…Come to find out, it was I who was not.  Now that we are here, it’s no sense in shying away from our truth, so with that being said, open your heart, mind and ears and allow me to save you some heartache…

Gem #1: You are beautiful, period. 

Unfortunately, these aren’t words that you hear very often.  Instead, you are bombarded with such traits as ‘ugly’, ‘fat’ and even ‘dumb’.  But I come as the first to tell you that you ARE beautiful.  No, you may not fit the ‘mold’ of what society says is beautiful and you may not even fit the standards that YOU think of as beautiful, but I’m here to you to tell you that the belief that you are beautiful begins within you.  ‘Open’ legs, camouflaging personality or whoring for acceptance does and will not define your beauty. Only that which resides within you in the inner chambers of your heart and soul does.

Stop searching for the validity of others and begin to validate yourself.  In the end, the only person who will be responsible for how and what you feel for yourself is you.  Don’t ever let someone else determine your worth…Only you can do that!  Begin the journey by standing in the mirror every morning and saying ‘I am beautiful’.  It will take you some years {25, to be exact!} before you actually believe that you are beautiful, but trust me…there will FINALLY come a day when you will look in the mirror and love the reflection that is staring back at you.

Gem #2:  Know who and how to be a friend. 

Someone told me a long time ago, ‘Just because someone sits at the lunch table with you everyday, don’t make them your friend.’  True friendship is built on trust, honesty, and loyalty, not what or how much you do for a person.  A true friend has pure motives and only your best intentions at heart.  A genuine friendship is not built on lies or false pretenses.  Friendship is reciprocity.  Friendship is knowing that without a shadow of a doubt, this person wants what’s best for you and you the same for them.  Friendship is love.  Start taking inventory of those around you. Chances are, you will come out with far less friends than what you started with. On the other side, you have to learn how to be a friend to someone.  You must learn to understand that you can’t expect something from anyone that you aren’t willing to give.  The same trust and honesty that you require is the same that you are required to give in return.

Another lesson in this is to learn WHO to befriend.  Everyone is not worthy of knowing the real and wonderful you! Some people are met in passing, meant to teach us lessons and move on.  Learn to recognize who these people are.  There’s nothing wrong with compartmentalizing people.  Everyone has their place in your life and it’s your job to ensure they are where they should be.

Gem #3: Live, don’t exist.


There will come a time where work, bills, school, and life will take over and throw you into a ‘routine’.  This being the case, you will be awakened to the fact that time and life is passing you by…DON’T MISS IT!! There is so much world and life for you to see! Our days are numbered on this earth and the last thing you want to do is leave with a host of ‘shoulda, woulda, couldas’! Ride the long, winding roads, check out the rolling green hills, and run through the sunny corn meadows…JUST LIVE!! Don’t get caught up on the ‘what if’s’ and ‘why cant’s’…Just plan and go!!!

Life is guaranteed to yield twists and turns…It’s not your job to figure out the way, only to enjoy the ride!

Gem #4: Love is a verb.

You will meet many people in your life who will tell you a million times over that they ‘love’ you.  They will tell you that they ‘love’ being in your life, you being in theirs, and being around you, but words don’t mean a hill of beans if the person doesn’t show it!  Love is an action word.  It’s not just something that someone tells you, but what they show.  Love should prevail through any thing you say or do, whether your decisions are agreeable by others or not.  If the action shows opposite than the words, then chances are that person may not love you as much as they say they do.  On the reverse side of that, to receive love is an action as well.  You have to be careful of what type of ‘love’ is allowed in your life.  People will find a way to allocate love to you at their disposal, which is no way fair or just.  Make it your business to do an evaluation of the breed of love that is given to you, for all love is not authentic.

Gem #5: Be YOU!

In this life, you will find people who will create their own expectation or standard of who or what you are.  They will try to push their ideas and agendas on you as to how THEY feel you should live your life or how THEY feel you should conduct yourself.  They will try to ‘box’ in your personality and try to make you conform into what THEY would like for you to be.  STAY AWAY FROM THOSE PEOPLE!! God made you YOU! He made you special in such a way that no one can do or be you, not even on their best day! He has ordered your steps and provided you with the tools to grow and evolve into the person that He wants you to be! It is nobody’s place or position to tell you that you are ‘wrong’ for doing or being you, just as it is not your position to continuously try to seek their approval.  At the end of the day, the only assignment for you is to live your life in a way that makes YOU happy! The rest is up to God…period!

I hope you take these gems and hide them in a safe place in your heart, for future reference.  The experiences that you will encounter will shape and form you into the woman that you are to become.  Will it be easy?? HELL NO! You will be hurt, disappointed, frustrated, aggravated, agonized, offended, tortured, and downright outraged by some of the foolishness that will come your way.  I can’t promise that you won’t cry {A LOT!} and I can’t even promise you that you won’t want to give up on everything and everybody, but what I can promise you is that once you come out on the other side of those situations, you will find yourself in a great place with a new appreciation for life and love that you never thought possible…and that alone will make it all worth it! ❤

Maxi: Walmart (old)

Sandals: Five & Below

Makeup: Melissa at Front Row Cosmetics

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If you could go back in time and talk to 16-year-old YOU, what would you say? Share below and let us know! 

Until the next time, live F.A.B with no regrets!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Girl Talk | Heart & Sol

  1. Great post. I would remind myself that it’s all a season. The good times and the bad times. It’s all just a season. Embrace it. Learn from it. Keep on growing. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is great, and would be so applicable to my 16-year-old self as well. The one about friendship is so true, and I think is something a lot of teenage girls struggle with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kate!

      It really is! I remember the struggles I faced growing up in the 90’s, so I can only imagine the pressures and drama that these kids face today.

      Sadly, for some people the friendship scenario is something that plays out into our adulthood. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen posts on social media bout “fake friends”. SO glad i don’t have to go through that!

      Thanks for reading! 🙂

      Like

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