Written by: Kiki
How many of us got them.
Now, how many of us support them.* crickets*
Got you stuck, huh? Thought so. but fret not, you’re not the only one.
It’s no secret that it is hard as hell to find “your tribe” and I swear it gets even harder once you hit that 30+ realm. Like seriously, can someone just go ahead and create a tinder app for friends?? #askingforafriend ,literally. Now whether you are one of the lucky few like Sol who grew up with their squad since the womb, or met them in the dorm or happen to bond over a latte discussing your recent bosszilla antics in the office. Either way, it’s been on and poppin ever since.
These relationships will face many ups and downs. With time, comes changes. Moving away, getting married, starting a family, a business, making new friends. So many factors come in to play and challenge the strength of your friendship, it’s crazy. And you do your best to overcome them, because these are the people who matter the most, hand selected to be in your space, to hold your secrets and know where and how many bodies are buried, they get you and talk you off the edge when needed and they past you a strong martini on demand. These are your girls. Ride or die, for anything.
But in true human fashion. We sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture and let life and our egos get in the way, when it comes to supporting our friends in their endeavors. Ya’ll remember here how I told you your friends don’t care about your business right?….. well here’s part of the reason why. In pursuing our ultimate “dream”, we come to a point where we start to compare where we are in life to where the closest of those around us are and 9 times out of 10, we aren’t even in the same stratosphere!
We want to know why our bestie seems to have it all and we are still trying to get it together. Why she got a ring and a baby and just brought her first home before 30 and you are over there swiping on POF just hoping for a normal response instead of an
eggplant DM. Why your fellow blogger boo got picked for a campaign but you got a “Thank you for applying but_____” when you reach is sooooo much longer. Well, I have the answer for you…. question is, are YOU ready for it??
Either way. Here it is.
The answer is simply this………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
SLAY IN YOUR OWN LANE!
Now what exactly does SLAY IN YOUR OWN LANE mean and how is it going to make you a more supportive friend? Don’t worry, I got you girl.. and here it goes…. the truth is, what is meant for YOU will be for YOU. Therefore, lusting over something that never was meant for you is pointless and will have you running around in circles and playin yourself. And when you focus on what you have going on then you are in a space to genuinely congratulate others in theirs. Then the blessings will come, abundantly. To slay in your own lane means to focus on your own path and kill it!
The concept of SLAY IN YOUR OWN LANE is a personal one because it is something I have to practice on a regular basis being in by Kikisol. As a duo, Sol and I are faced with the task of identifying as a package deal as well as defining who we are individually. Because we have the need to grow together as well as separate, it leads to one of us either being a FFFW host or starring in a leading role in the musical, RENT. All in all, never losing sight that this is my bish and we are out here making moves and being great individually and collectively!
It is essential that you take on the SLAY IN YOUR LANE mentality when it comes to your tribe. I mean, green eyes ain’t cute anymore baby girl and losing a good good girlfriend over the fact that you can’t get over your own insecurities ain’t the business. So the next time you see your homegirl out here slaying her goals and being great, instead of hating and wondering why you don’t have what she does, ask yourself this…. do you really want it? And if the answer is yes, then ask her how she got it. But if your answer is no, then congratulate that lady and figure what is is you do want and go for it!
Have you ever been in a friendship that lacked support? How did you handle it?
Until the next time, live F.A.B with no regrets!